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Serenity

October 7, 2014

Day 112

A profound change for me over the past few days. With letting go of minuscule offerings of resources I’d been clinging to over the past few months, turning away and offering surrender, the first door has already opened.

I’ve been offered support from a fan of my work who has been following for some years. Support to focus on my studies for the next couple of months and repackage it for a broader audience.

I used the analogy – for the past few years actually – that I felt like I was treading water in my career. Sometimes drowning, sometimes popping up above the water line only to sink back in, sometimes just afloat, my arms not available to help as I held the chins of my two children above the water line with me.

A boyfriend came along for a while but he was so filled with fear and suspicion from baggage of past experiences, he would sit in his boat next to me and cheer me on without ever offering his hand to help me up. Maybe he was scared 3 extra bodies would sink his boat? Whatever. It didn’t matter and eventually I asked him to float on his way.

This time the support is solid though. It feels like I’ve been given my own little boat and we can finally sit, rest and dry our feet. I am finally up out of the water.

Yesterday I felt incredible peace and serenity. Like I know for sure I am finally heading in the right direction.

I fought against doing this work for so long. I couldn’t get enough of it but it seemed so “leading edge” (read that as “airy fairy”) I couldn’t imagine earning anything out of it. Even now I can’t see where the income will come from but I absolutely KNOW the money is there framed in a project yet to be revealed.

Maybe the idea will come to me. Maybe the idea will come to someone else who wants me on the team. I have no ego about who brings in the idea. So funny how we all fight over intellectual property when in fact none of us come up with ideas anyway. They are all from the Collective Unconscious. haha

So! A little more of the path is shown in front of me now. The fog is clearing.

Just one step at a time and I am going to enjoy every inch of the journey!

If you’re feeling lost yourself in the work you are doing and yearn for something more heartfelt, I say, BE BRAVE.

When you let go of your old life without fear or anxiety, the doors will fly open.

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