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Accepting what is given

July 28, 2014

Day 42

Yikes! The opportunities are there and I have to admit I still have an aversion to accepting them.

On Friday I was in the city at a meeting. It went a little over time and I had just 15 minutes to scoot down the main street to the local Apple store for an appointment I’d booked to get some maintenance for my Mac.

As I walked at top speed down the road a man caught my eye who was on the side of the path leaning against a shop window. In my mind’s eye I think I’d already worked out who he was. An old show business colleague I’d been wanting to connect with again but I didn’t know how to find him. I hadn’t seen him for about 15 years.

I glanced in his direction only a split second and saw the right coloured eyes as I was passing but continued flying at full tilt down the road.

My intuition kicked in. TURN AROUND GO BACK it said.

As has happened so many times before, in a way that I promised myself I would never do again, my brain started it’s wining. “He won’t remember me. He’s famous now. It might not be him anyway. He’ll think I’m an idiot. I’m late. I have to get to this appointment. He won’t want to talk to me. I don’t have anything to say…”

So many STUPID self doubts that prevent me from accepting what is offered!

I did get to my appointment on time but spent the following two days kicking myself that I didn’t listen to my very clear intuition.

One thing that has brought a little comfort is remembering what opportunities I have taken when they arose in front of me. But as I start to lose my memory in this process, I’m finding it tricky to remember those times.

Another comfort is what Esther Hicks said as Abraham in one of her videos. Something like

We watch you with such love as you go about your day. As you get in a grumpy mood, miss our message and turn to go down another street completely missing the most perfect partner we could offer you (hear the audience groan at this point) and we say with a smile “Oh! Did you see that? Missed by THAT MUCH! She was so close!” and we love you all the same.

So I know that I’m the only one judging me over these missed opportunities. The Universe loves me all the same.

I wonder if at the end of this life I’ll get to see my life back over and laugh with all those big souls up there about all the friggin opportunities missed and what they could have lead to. (sigh)

It’s pointless speculating though, right? Wasted energy and NOT in the present moment.

So! Time to forgive myself and trust that another opportunity is already being tailored for me as we speak.

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