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The first day of the rest of my life

June 18, 2014

annabelle drumm self transformation development growth life coaches sydney australiaYou can see I haven’t posted here in a long while. I’ve been busy keeping my Business blog running for a few years now which you’re welcome to check out on http://kitegirlcoach.com

While I’ve had people contact me thanking me for my endless optimism that has helped them through the toughest times in life, I have to say I’ve felt like a bit of a fake.

Yep, I’m good at turning people’s negative feelings into something a whole lot more upbeat and then driving them to take action to make a life and career way beyond what they thought possible for themselves blah blah blah but, have I done it for myself?

I’ve got lots of it right, for sure. My health and immunity is superb now. I live in a house that ticked every box on my wish list. My relationships with family, children and friends are great. I don’t have a partner but am not looking for one right now anyway.

Law of Attraction has been working well in these areas plus many others I set my intention on.

e.g. – I can get a car park anywhere at any time I wish – even beside the main door entrance to a massive Mall on Christmas Eve at lunchtime. One year I made a game of getting into sold out shows. I did 11 shows that year often getting the very last or only ticket. I finished the year with New Years Eve at the Sydney Opera House watching the concert and toasting the fireworks on the balcony after getting through 3 levels of security – nothing toooo sneaky and I did pay for my ticket. The girl at the box office still looked amazed that I’d arrived there at all. I was the only person to buy a ticket that day.

Yes, I’ve got so many things right and yet, the thing that has been eluding me has been the money.

I realise I’ve never been particularly turned on by money. I always choose a job because I’d love to do it. I’ve turned down a fair few jobs that paid 6 figures a year but didn’t sound like much fun.

But I also know there are limitations in my own thinking and it’s time to clean them out.

It feels like the last area of life for me to do it, really. Everything else is great. So I’m going to use this blog to record my progress on a new challenge.

If you like the forever optimistic smiley professional version of me, subscribe at http://kitegirlcoach.com and it will send you lots of encouragement, articles, mindset tools and interviews on the 28th of each month plus any discounts I offer on products and services.

If you prefer the gritty real version where you get to see me fall apart, then get up and carry on, follow me here. I’ve been journalling for a very long time all the daily challenges just on a basic word processor, self coaching as I go. Maybe it’s time to share some of that so you can get something from it too.

Why now?

Here’s the background

About 2 or 3 years ago I became completely absorbed in learning about the “end of the world as we know it” on the Mayan Calendar December 21, 2012.

There was knowledge coming to me from so many sources. Science, religion, ancient texts, a mysterious package in the mail from someone doing automatic writing and personal access to a superb mentor named Mercredan 13 Dimensions high via Master Channeller Francis Evans.

As this learning overtook me I let each coaching client finish their series and took no one new on.

I’d saved up a whopping great amount of money to live on while I studied, read, watched and wrote every day to my heart’s content.

December 21, 2012 came and went and we got exactly what was expected – not much to write home about.

The reality of it was that it was the wrong day. When the Mayans put it in their calendar so many thousands of years ago they could only guess at when it would happen (Winter solstice in the Northern Hemisphere) so they were about a week out. Still not bad calculations if you ask me.

Also, the change over moving from one way of living to another that might happen once every 25,000 years isn’t going to happen overnight. The change has been growing in impetus since the 1980’s and is likely to continue for up to 1,000 years yet.

We can, however, see changes and feel them within ourselves almost every day as we become more sensitive to each other’s needs and question the old, rather biased way of running the world in terms of politics, environmental care and the economy.

Anyway, I continue to study but noticed the money was starting to run out.

“That’s curious,” I thought, “I should be inspired to go get some more work by now.”

So I waited for the motivation to come. But it didn’t.

The money ran out so I filled my credit cards, waiting for some inspiration and still it didn’t come.

Things started getting very uncomfortable. Why the hell am I doing this to myself? What’s the point?

I’m a clever woman. Very capable. Was an A grade student academically. Won talent quests and writing awards. Won a worldwide video competition. Got 93% in my Emotional Intelligence exam. Produced a bunch of iPhone apps. A proven successful business owner twice over – though not a millionaire because, like I said, that was never a priority to me anyway. What’s going on?

I started to do low paid, low skilled work from several sources to at least cover the basic bills. I have rent to pay here and two children to feed on my own. It’s no one else’s job to look after me.

The work was kind of fun but paid only a little more than Australian factory workers earn. It also sucked the energy out of me so I had little left to use creating something new.

The stress of managing $10 here and there when I had previously pushed hundreds of thousands of dollars around my business accounts was ageing me fast so I learnt a lot about managing stress and built a course to teach others how to do it too.

Then that work finished up and I had nothing. This had to be a sign!

I felt like I was floundering around waiting for a miracle that I had doubts would arrive – a sure fire way in Law of Attraction to make sure it never arrived.

I felt incredibly ashamed that I wasn’t making the kind of amazing life and career I’d done for my clients. Not practicing what I preached.

Ashamed and embarrassed whenever I had to ask for help. In pain seeing my two boys have to bluff why they couldn’t pay for even the most basic things at school.

From my knowledge of Law of Attraction I was completely aware that I had created this debacle all by myself and had no explanation for it, nor see any path to exit.

Here’s something that is crucial to remember though. If you want a dramatic change in your life and career, there has to be a turning point, just like that December 2012 date. Even if it’s so subtle, like the tipping of the scales, there is a point, a moment where it will all change direction. That usually comes from a Point of Pain. Marketers talk about it all the time.

Any expert who sells you anything will first blab on about their story, just like I’ve done here. Then they get to the Point of Pain which changes their mindset, tips the scales and leads them to success.

The point of pain

What was mine? Last Monday morning.

The kids are up getting ready for school. I’m looking in the cupboards and in my purse. There is literally no money to buy bread or milk. Nothing. Nada. I have to serve them boiled pasta and grated cheese for breakfast.

That’s it. That was the turning point for me. The reality hitting hard.

Annabelle, you’ve caused this. You let yourself and your children get into this situation. Something has to change NOW.

Later that morning I called my dear friend Francis Evans, the channeller I’d worked with so many times over the years. Instead of running a channelling session he took the reigns and coached me himself, being an experienced NLP coach.

We went through an exhausting process. The goal was for me to fully sit in the mud of my responsibility. To really feel what I had created and, rather than sink into an immovable position as you would when you were depressed, to move around and explore it to the edges. To remember how I felt each time I was ashamed. Feel the embarrassment. The things I’d said and done to cover it up. What other people thought and said. To keep exploring until the crying stopped and my head emerged above the muddy water line with the process complete.

You’ve got to be a damn brave Coach to take someone through that without losing them in the mud so all credit to Francis for doing that.

I came out with a clear insight that nearly no one judged me for the predicament I’d put myself in. Here was I thinking everyone around me was looking down on me but this was not the case. It was simply me judging and harshly criticising myself.

Phew! What a relief.

SO, now it’s time to change. Big time.

Monday became the first day of the rest of my life. The start to a new creation.

Yes, I had created a powerful creation of a lack of money. Now it’s time for a new creation. Anyone can do this. Anyone can choose to make a new start at anytime and create something new.

What most of us do is dream up a new creation, start to take action and then we either give up believing it’s possible or we fall back into the habit of the old creation where things are safe and we know what to expect.

I know I’m a powerful creator – we all are. I come up with amazing ideas all the time and then “stutter”, as Mercredan has described, which stumps all future growth or success of that idea.

It’s time to kill the stutter, dream big and follow through! So that’s what this blog is going to be about for a while. I’ve given myself every excuse why I “don’t need the money” or “prefer jobs for the love of them”.  Enough is enough.

What’s the plan?

Let’s see what I can create this time in a way that leads to my Financial Freedom and a deep satisfaction in my accomplishment.

I figure by writing my ups and downs, I’ll be journalling as usual. By doing it in public means the possibility that at least one or two people will be expecting a post in the next couple of days thereby keeping me accountable to what I’ve set up for myself.

Let’s do this! Bring it on.

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